A change of focus part 1

Greetings to all and blessings on this new day that God has given us. There are moments in our lives that, when we analyze them, we realize that it is time to change our focus.


For a long of time I lived every second, minute, hour, day, month and year focusing on the solution to a labor problem I was having. Although I do not know how I got there, the reality is that there was not a second of my life that I did not think about the situation and how to solve it. Although I couldn't control that situation because I couldn't control the mind of the supervisor who seemed to feel hatred towards me. I suffered and cried as a result of that situation. I punished myself by affecting my health for something I could not change because I do not have control over other person's acts. While that was happening, I had a baby who I had longed with all my heart and my whole being, and a young handsome and professional husband who I longed to share with me other moments and experiences. While all this happened, the days went by and I missed the opportunity to share and live all those moments in a fight I would never win because I could not control the actions of others.


After some time that terrifying work experience finally came to an end, I got a new supervisor with whom I had a good working relationship, but life has already started billing me of my mistakes. I had lost many years focused on a problem which I thought I needed to solve to be happy and now it was my health the thing irreversibly affected. My seizures had increased dramatically as a consequence of that, and my medical team decided to gave me the recommendation not to return to work and not drive a motor vehicule anymore.


My labor problem may had been solved, but now I faced the issue of dealing with an incurable health problem. I could no longer practice my profession and I had to depend on others to be able to move from place to place. I was no longer focused on my work problem but began to focus on my health problem instead. It was no longer the labor problem that took away my peace and my tranquility but that of my health. All the time I focused on how to solve my health problem. I tried many new medications and even a went through surgery, but nothing seemed to work. I got in a fight with my God, my self-esteem was affected and the moment came when I began to feel ashamed of the situation I was living. I wondered why I spent so many years achieving a professional degree if I could not practice the career now, When my husband had professional meetings I wanted to make a hole in the ground and bury myself  because I felt ashamed about my situation and my illness. There were those who did not missed the opportunity to step on me, to humiliate me and reject me. There were many who denied me a favor. My husband had to be responsible for many things in the home to the point that one day almost have a heart attack and we found ourselves without any help from his relatives who were the only ones close. At that moment my frustration and my pain increased, increasing my obsession for a cure of disease that seemed to bury me alive. Now it was my health problem which was not under my control, as was my labor problem in a beginning. Again I was  in a fight that I would not win. Again the years went by without me realizing all the blessings God was giving me, focusing just on problems, until the time came to change my focus on life and to don't look to the problem anymore but to begin to focus on blessings and God. What happened after I changed my focus? I will talk to you the next week.